


pink with pineapples (because pineapples are bucky's favorite)

by anoddconstellationofthoughts



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bingo, M/M, Pepperony - Freeform, Pineapples, Stucky - Freeform, date night ideas, idk how this happened i'm sorry, stucky date night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 23:03:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14778972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoddconstellationofthoughts/pseuds/anoddconstellationofthoughts
Summary: "B-4.""Aha! Bucky. Suck my cherry flavored ass."I'm sure this prompt has been done a million times before, but y'know what when a friend asks for Stucky bingo date night you've gotta deliver.





	pink with pineapples (because pineapples are bucky's favorite)

"B-4."

"Aha! Bucky. Suck my cherry flavored ass."

Steve chuckled. "Maybe later, old man. We've still got four more rounds to go."

Bucky gasped dramatically. "'Old man?' Do I mean that little to you?"

"I mean, you are older-"

"So?" Bucky shoved his chair back and presented his backside to Steve. "Does this look like 101 years to you?"

Steve threw a bingo chip at Bucky's ass. It bounced right off. "Okay fine, you've got a nice butt. You're still old."

Bucky's phone rang, and he stood up, swiping the phone off the counter, answering the call, and flipping Steve off in one smooth move. "Barnes."

He was met with the chattering of a busy restaurant. "Heyyyy gramps, whatcha up to?"

Bucky made his way back over to the kitchen table. He straddled Steve's lap, who let out a low _oomph_ , but wrapped his arms around Bucky's waist nonetheless.

"Date night. You knew that." Bucky rested his forehead on Steve's. "Say hi Steve."

"Hi Steve," Tony and Steve said in unison.

"Oh fuck off, both of you," Bucky poked Steve in the stomach. Steve chuckled. "Whaddya want, Stark?"

Tony sighed exaggeratedly. "Oh y’know, Pepper went to the bathroom and left me all alone so I figured I'd give my two favorite senior citizens a call."

Steve paused. "Are you... in the middle of a date?"

Tony made a noise of affirmation.

"So you interrupted our date because there was a lull in yours?" Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky, who simply shrugged and readjusted his position in Steve's lap. The blond sucked in a breath. He pinched Bucky's side in retaliation.

"Oh come on," Tony protested. "It's not like you two were doing anything anyway. You're old. Besides, you answered the phone, so it clearly wasn't that important."

Bucky coughed, causing Steve to make a face and lean back. "Fuck you, Stark, it was too important."

"Yeah, lemme guess, bingo?"

"It's pronounced 'Bucky,'" Bucky corrected, at the same time Steve said, "yes."

Stark was silent, the clinking of dishes and sophisticated laughter the only noise coming through the receiver. Finally, he spoke, horror tingeing his voice. "You're not serious."

"Bet on it, goatee," Bucky said gleefully.

"I had Friday make him a set of boards that said 'Bucky' on them," Steve added, trying not to laugh.

"They're pink with pineapples on them!" screeched Bucky.

"Friday!" Tony's anguished wailing crackled through the receiver, "How could you betray me like this?"

"I'm sorry, sir," the AI spoke through the phone, "I did not know you would be upset by this."

"'I didn't know-'" Tony mocked hysterically, "Of  _course_ I'd be upset by this, Friday! You're enabling them! They're old men! Frail minds frail bodies! They need taking care of!"

Steve pressed his face to Bucky's shoulder, shaking with laughter. Bucky held the metal fist to his mouth.

Friday began to respond, "I do not think-"

"Tony!" a feminine voice chided, "Really? Phone calls on our date?"

"Please, Peps, it's Cap and Barnes," Tony's voice was rising in pitch. "Tell- guys tell Pepper what you did."

"We're playing-"

"Bingo! They're playing bingo!" Tony screeched.

"It's called Bucky!" Bucky protested.

"And the board's hot pink. With pineapples," Steve wheezed.

"Aww, that's sweet." Pepper's voice was amused, but she didn't laugh.

"Sweet?? Peps, no, no it's not sweet, it's horrifying!"

She sighed, and Steve snort-laughed into Bucky's shoulder, making him giggle even more. "Tony, dear, we've been over this, if you have a problem with what someone else does-"

"But they used Friday in this! They had her print the boards! They've turned her against me!"

"Sir, if I may protest-"

"You may not!"

"Tony!" The audio went fuzzy like someone had hit the phone. "You're making a scene!"

Tony shrieked, "They're playing bingo! On a date! They might be old but they can still play good games or at least have normal dates like dinner or a movie or something that doesn't involve bingo cards and chips they're probably just gonna shove up their asses later anyways!"

Bucky howled, and Steve started crying.

"Tony!" Pepper hissed. "We are not doing right now."

Steve wiped away a tear. "No no, please, by all means, keep going."

"Yeah, Pepper," Tony cried hysterically, "let's keep going, so the whole world knows Crusty Cap and his prehistoric fuck buddy play bingo on date nights. Let's make fuckin' posters and put 'em up all over town!"

"Okay," Pepper groaned, "I apologize, boys, have a nice rest of your date."

"Bye bye Pepper! Bye Goateeeee," Bucky called. Steve was too busy sobbing to form coherent sentences. The call ended.

It took a while for both of their breathing to even out, but eventually, they calmed down.

"So," Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve's neck, "what should we do now?"

"I dunno. Stark's idea of shoving the bingo chips up our asses sounds like fun."

Bucky leaned in, just barely touching his lips to Steve's ear. "I can think of better things to shove up your ass than that, babydoll."

Steve's breathing hitched. "Then what are we waiting for?"

Bucky abruptly pushed back and sat in his own chair. He slammed his hands on the table. The chips clattered slightly. "Beat me at Bucky. Then we'll see."

Steve stared at him in dismay. "But-"

"Nope! No complaining. Just playing."

"Asshole," Steve muttered.

"You're right, I do love assholes, Stevie. That's why we're playing." He raised his eyebrows. "Now. Are you in or not?"

Steve grumbled. "You're lucky I love you."

"Yes," Bucky beamed. "That I am."

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, the Bucky + pineapples thing came from a fic I read f o r e v e r ago and have never been able to find again (Bucky saved Steve from his ex in a grocery store and had a thing with pineapples because it was an inside joke with Becca?? idk), so if that's yours or you know what I'm talking about please leave a comment so I can link and give credit. Whoopsies.
> 
> Also, "Crusty Cap and his prehistoric fuck buddy" is the best phrase I have ever written and I am 100% not sorry.
> 
> As always, I can write okay, but proofing is not my strong suit, so just let me know if you find anything. Comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> ~anoddconstellationofthoughts
> 
> EDIT: The fic was ["Captain Fantastic and the Pineapple King"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7874188) by buckyfuckybarnes. Many thanks to LatverianCameos for finding it. It's absolutely amazing, so go read it!


End file.
